APRIL FOOLS’ DAY: Helpful Hygiene Methods to stay Healthy 

April 1, 2021

New hygiene methods have shown a much more influential way to maintain health and prevent disease.  

Staying Sanitary During the times of the COVID-19 pandemic, it has been largely emphasized to maintain good hygiene and sanitizing for the importance of one’s health. Many large industrial companies have released countless amounts of advertisements on cleaning and sanitation products to promote this hygienic behavior. Countless amounts of these products and advertisements can be found throughout the world, signifying the importance of maintaining overthetop sanitation especially during the global pandemic as the health inflicting virus continues to rapidly spread. By using these sanitation methods, tips, and tricks, one will be able to acquire new aspect of cleanliness to their life 

Six sanitation methods that can be used to prevent the risk of getting a disease or illness include: 

  1. Licking your hands as a form of washing. While many individuals prefer to wash their bacteria infected hands in a sink with hand soap, it would be more prominent to perform this task by using your saliva instead. Starting by licking the dorsal, back side, of your hand, work your way to the tip of your fingers and then begin coating the other side of the hand. Be sure to reach under the fingernails! 
  1. Hot breath to sanitize and wipe down surfaces. Using your hot breath in replace of a liquid product can help shine and moisten surfaces. By huffing your breath and creating a form of fog onto the surface, use a rag or paper towel to spread it across the surface. Using this method is quick and efficient with no cost of extra cleaning products. It also helps move mucus out of the lungs, an efficient example of killing two birds with one stone. 
  1. Using hair as floss. Greasy hair will be a more helpful way, as the grease can attract food particles stuck in your teeth and it will maintain a firm grip on the food. Plucking a strand of hair from your head and using it as floss, while making sure to thoroughly dig the hair in between the gaps between the teeth and any crevices will help maintain oral hygiene.  
  1. Dirty skin cells as a facial cleaner. While many believe exfoliation and ridding of skin cells can enhance your skin, it would be much more beneficial to use those cells as a makeup power. Using these dead skin cells and applying them to your face have cosmetic significance in matting your face will surely attract attention and compliments of others!  
  1. Cutting your nails with scissors. Dipping the scissors in excess meat fluids or in oil while sawing your nails will result in an efficient at-home manicure to maintain nail health. The underneath of the nails may hold bacteria and dirt particles, making it important to cut your nails frequently and using this tactic will make it easier 
  1. Butter sticks used as deodorant. Body odor is a big part of hygiene that some may struggle with; however, using a cold fresh stick of butter will keep your underarms fresh, moist, and smooth. Using this creamy substance will help prevent the production of the salt-based fluid from secreting from your sweat glands. Salt cancels out salt! 

Using these new and improved ways of maintaining your health are shown to be very helpful with most individuals. With the numerous amounts of advertising from large companies that have been exposed to the general public have been distracting the true methodical ways of maintaining optimal health levels. Next time you encounter an occasion in which you make the decision to improve your hygiene, take in consideration of these tips to assure staying healthy.

April Fool’s!

 

 

APRIL FOOLS’ DAY: EVERYTHING A TEEN NEEDS TO FORGET THEY’RE IN A PANDEMIC, WHILE IN A PANDEMIC

To say it has been a tough, long year for everyone would be an underestimate. There truly are no words to describe the impact of the COVID-19 virus. Although this worldwide pandemic has affected everyone of all ages, most would argue that the teen and young adult generation have felt it the most. As a teen, I personally experienced the loss of half of junior year, spending senior year completely remote, all while trying to juggle the college application and decision process by myself. As most people know I have the attention span of a squirrel and cannot sit still to save my life. So, instead of doing classwork, I surfed the internet for necessities to having fun, and forgetting you’re in a global pandemic.

 

 

1. Hand Sanitizer Christmas Ornament ($16)

This simply ornament which can be found on Amazon, is perfect for forgetting that you are in a global pandemic. Instead, it takes the liberty of only reminding you every time the bells start to ring, and the streets are filled with choirs. Hand sanitizer has been deemed vital during this past year, and only seeing this during Christmastime will make you forget this year’s trauma.

2. A Funny Face Mask ($13.19)

Masks have become the blueprint for fashion over the past year. And while they are vital to stopping the spread of the virus, it is hard to make them fashionably acceptable, and most people do not like letting the bottom half of their face be seen. This mask is perfect for showing all your inner beauty on the outside of your mask!

3.‘No Tear’ Toilet Paper

For some odd reason, since the beginning of the pandemic, toilet paper has been a vital necessity. In the first few months of the pandemic alone during 2020, you could not find a single roll of toilet paper. With this gag gift, you can have all the fun you want!

 

 

4.Useless Box ($15.99)

Those who receive this box will find that this box is in fact, useless. Although the box does open, people will find that it still is barely big enough to hold anything and deem it unusable, making it the perfect gift for anyone bored!

5.Canned Unicorn Meat

In the middle of a pandemic, you can’t go out to eat, except at your local fast food restaurants. People get tired of cooking and making things, and Unicorn Meat is your perfect alternative to cooking on a daily basis!

 

APRIL FOOLS’ DAY: How to get Straight A’s 

By Ariana Ferguson

Every child’s parents strive to get them to get straight A’s. Parents don’t understand how hard it is. They pressure their children and threaten to ground them if they don’t get the grades they please. However, I am about to give you the best tips, tricks, and cheats into getting Straight A’s. First, you can not forget this step. It is the most important step into getting the best grades. Do not do your homework. This may be surprising but it is the key to straight A’s. Secondly, sleep in class. You have to sleep in class so you aren’t tired while you throw away your homework after school. You have to make sure to rest your body. Third, answer C on every single question for every single test. C is the luckiest letter and you will get 100% on every test. If you follow these 3 tips you will land yourself an A honor role certificate to bring home to your parent. 

By Julie Shkraba

High school is a daily thing but not so importantso it’s important that you know the ways to pass classes so you can graduate. It is not too important to do well in classes and make sure you never do homework. Seriously, it is a waste of time. Other thigs like video games and Netflix are way more important than schoolworkMake sure to not pay any attention to what is going on in school, you won’t ever need the information later in life anyway. A great tip for that is to always keep in your headphones so you don’t hear your teacher’s lecture.  Also, it’s important to not show up, at least be late to classes, this will help you pass your classes, never be on time. I recommend to always be on your phone texting, you must keep up with your social life somehow. It is so important to not care about learning 

Make sure you are always distracted in class. Talk to your friends the whole class instead of listening to your teachers. Socializing will help you pass your classes, not actually doing the work. It is so important to form a bad sleeping schedule. Why get eight hours of sleep at night when you can take a nap in 2nd period? Taking naps at school just hits different, I think it’s probably those hard desks that do the trick. Graduating high school is a must. So, making sure you are distractedon your phone, and never do your classwork is necessary. Most importantly make sure you have a fun time, don’t worry too much about your future, you can’t do anything to change it anyway! So just go to high school to have fun. 

 

 

 

APRIL FOOLS DAY: Teacher Reminds The Students They Still Represent The Class Even When Going To The Restroom

Teachers, have you ever had problems with students who go to the restroom every time they are in your class? Have you noticed that some students don’t return to class until it is over, or may not even show up again until the next day? Excessive time and talk in the restrooms has become a big issue this year. Girls and boys who yell, scream, and chat in the restrooms disrupt testing in the vision room, making it difficult to concentrate on schoolwork. This April Fools Satire article exaggerates the problems I face when girls and boys hang out in the bathrooms.

View of the hallway near the ISR room, with a student walking down the hall.
Make sure to behave while you are on a bathroom break! (Angelina)
Two students entering the restroom.
Use the buddy system to make sure everyone is in and out quickly! (Ang)

In an effort to ensure they maintained good citizenship and decorum when they went to the restroom, the teacher sternly reminded the students when class began Monday morning that they still represented the classroom even when they were outside of it. “I want you to go out there and do your business because it is a basic right of every human being to answer to nature’s calling, but keep in mind that you are still on school grounds and are ambassadors for my classroom, so make sure that the bathrooms are as clean when you come out as they are right now. No one wants the walls painted the color of the shirts of your favorite football teams, or hear reports of glass plates being thrown into the toilets and clogging them up. Remember, those people deserve a little respect who work their little fingers to the bone scrubbing the floors and cleaning out those bathrooms, so it’s about time you start showing it. You ought to be grateful you don’t have to use charter bus bathrooms like the blind and deaf kids from Pensacola who have to sit on one of those buses all day to get to the campus,” said the teacher, urging her class to behave as if she was watching them while they were in there, and when they encountered any staff member in the hallway.

“Remember, when you’re finished with nature’s duty and you decide it would be funny to have six girls in one stall drinking soda and feeding pop rocks to a pet goldfish your friend brought from home, or boys, you decide to start selling desktop computers and smartphones and mixing the water in the sinks and the water in the toilets with paint and ketchup from the cafeteria and spraying it all over the stalls, it not only reflects poorly on you, it reflects on this class and on my incompetence as a teacher trying to keep my class in check and make sure you are adhering to the same standards as other classes. I also don’t want to hear that you jumped on top of Mr. Mark’s cart and sprayed hot sauce in his eyes and hung around him like a swarm of monkeys throwing bananas and pickles at him while you call him names, or hear that you girls dumped a bucket of frosting in the doorway so that Mrs. Uecker’s feet got stuck in it and fenced the stalls so that she couldn’t get in when she politely but firmly told you to stop kicking the Skittles around, playing with noisemakers, folding laundry, putting on makeup, and having your short-lived girls day out and go back to class. So don’t do anything to embarrass me.” The teacher added that while she didn’t want to scare them, she didn’t want her students to become a pack of wolves hunting for negative hero points, lunch detentions, after-school detentions, and a potential slap at home.

Male student holding door on his way into bathroom.
Use the restrooms only for their intended purpose! (Angelina Evilsiser)

APRIL FOOLS’ DAY: Senior Varsity Football Announced

NPHS Varsity football team sits on the bleachers in their navy uniforms.
Just think! With the addition of the mandatory Senior Varsity Football Program, you can be a member of the team!

The Sarasota County Athletic Department has just announced that they are making a mandatory senior football league that every senior in Sarasota County will have to be in. This is because the county has discovered many players that went undiscovered in high school for multiple different reasons (confidence issues, lack of funds to purchase or rent football gear, not having time to practice, etc.) “We want to test the athletic abilities of those who might not be able to join varsity, or even junior varsity. Come out and play!” says the Athletic Board on the senior varsity league on Friday. Almost every school in Sarasota County is going to have a senior team. This new league is starting next season and practice times are still being decided. “It sucks because I’m graduating and won’t be a part of it.” Tim Thomas says on Monday during an interview. This will help seniors discover if they have great athletic ability and could line them up for an athletic scholarship in their future. This could also affect current varsity players that do have football in their future because of the limited play time due to the number of seniors there will be playing on the team. 

APRIL FOOLS’ DAY: New AICE Course for 2022-2023

Mrs. David's Environmental Science Classroom with students working at desks.
Current AICE students will be able to sign up for a new class next year!

North Port High School has been attempting to update their education program ever since the pandemic that struck last year. The school is aiming to incorporate more AICE, AP, and Honors courses. AICE Sociopathy is one of the newest courses that was pitched to the School Board. The course highlights the effects of the mental illness on the person and the outside world. 

The new course will be introduced during the 2022-2023 school year. An online learner and rising senior Andrew Tennant were interviewed to express his opinion.  

What do you think of the new AICE course? 

I think the new course would be very interesting to study and understand. 

 

Would you be interested in taking the course had it been offered before we graduated? 

I would certainly be interested in taking the new course. 

Who do you think would be interested in this course? 

People I think would be interested in this course would be individuals who suffer from mental illnesses. It is very important to understand yourself, and I feel like the subject is taboo to some people, so it would be nice to have a class devoted to it. 

Would this course help you in your future career field? 

This course would help in the future because there are so many fields you can use this knowledge in. 

Do you think this course counts as a science credit or an elective credit? 

I would say this course counts as a science credit. 

 

Were you aware that this was an April fools’ prank? 

No, I was not. I was seriously thinking this would be an interesting course. 

 

AICE Sociopathy is not a real course! April Fools everyone! 

 

 

 

APRIL FOOLS’ DAY: Operation: Allied Oceans

Student poses with manatee
NPHS student Jordan Roche is a volunteer at Mote Marine Aquarium in Sarasota. She helped broker the deal with the sea animals. (Jordan Roche)

The United States military finally make a great discovery that would make the average citizen second guess themselves, but it’s true, sea creatures are ready to cooperate with our terms of a partnership. The people of the United States of America need to put an end to the unnecessary violence of hurting the sea turtles and the pollution of the oceans in which our nearly found allies reside.

If the creatures of the sea agree, they will help the U.S with underwater threats that we can’t locate or sense on our ships and subs. They will use their sensory abilities to pick up the threats, along with helping uncover the mysteries of the sea. Today marks the day that man, the United States of America has saved its people from threats and a helping ally at that. The U.S military will release more information regarding the negation process and when the final decision is made it will finally be a decree that we are indeed allies of the creatures of the deep blue.  

APRIL FOOLS’ DAY: Mask-Wearing Recommendations

Student wears mask in the Full Coverage style.
Wearing your mask in the Full Coverage style gives poor visibility and risk of germ transmission. This method is not recommended.

So, it’s been a year now since the outbreak of COVID-19 and it has become almost completely normal to grab a mask before leaving the house. However, there are many different mask styles out there that I’ve come across in this year of mask wearing. From gas masks to snorkeling gear and the infamous blue surgical mask, you never know what you’re going to find. Now there are also a ton of different ways to wear these masks in order to get the safest fit and spread the least number of germs possible. I feel as if now is a good time to reiterate on how to properly wear a blue surgical mask.  

The first thing you’re going to want to do is grab a mask and place the loops over your ears with the blue side facing outward and the white side pressed against your face. A popular way to wear a mask would be what I like to call the Nose Peaker. This is very fitting for those who breathe from their nose and want to maximize breathing ability. The mask is positioned over the mouth yet just below the nostrils, allowing a little more air flow. 

Another effective way to wear the mask is known as the Chinstrap. Here the mask is pulled down, covering only their chin. This style leaves the mouth and nose fully exposed making it very easy to breathe, whether you’re a mouth or nose breather. The Chinstrap is commonly found within areas where masks are mandatory, yet people don’t want to wear them. The Chinstrap is probably the most effective way to prevent spreading and receiving of COVID-19. 

The least effective way to wear your mask is what we call Full Coverage. Full Coverage is where the mask sits over the mouth, nose, and eyes, leaving room for no air flow. This method has very low visibility and low breathability yet a high germ rate. I strongly advise not wearing your mask this way if you want to help stop the spread of COVID-19 and end this global pandemic.  

APRIL FOOLS’ DAY: Understanding Lip Reading in 2021!

Lip reading is a fun and helpful way of communicating with other people. For instance, it is super helpful to understand how to properly read lips, especially if one is hard of hearing! This way, it will allow you to practice lip reading as well as helping hard of hearing friends out or helping yourself out. Additionally, with the new times and circumstances of the world, lip reading is totally accommodating to other people if they are having trouble understanding what one is saying through the masks! So, why not read their lips instead? It’s a simple yet easy way to really grasp what words are coming out of their mouths. In order to fully comprehend the practice of lip reading though, there are some helpful tips to guide you on lipreading. 

Logan King speaks through a megaphone while wearing his mask.
If you learn to lip-read through a mask, people won’t need to use a megaphone to speak to you in the hallways!

Looking at lip movements, shapes, and patterns is essential when it comes to reading lips. For example, memorizing the different shape patterns of emotion would help you understand the person’s emotional state. Moreover, Understanding the movements of various consonants and vowels will boost your knowledge of lip reading further. You can easily practice this with other people in public while staying 6 feet apart and wearing masks, residing by the rules! Just take a look at which letters creates specific mouth movements and piece together somewhat of a comprehensible sentence. And, hey! Who knows? Maybe you’ll be able to master lip reading to the point where you can understand just about anyone’s conversations.  

 

Additionally, letting other people know you are trying to lip read can be very beneficial as a learning tool. When you inform another peer that you are trying to practice your lip-reading skills, they will make sure to slow their talking down and clearly pronunciation their sentences. Make sure to keep those masks on, though! Don’t want to break the COVID-19 rules now do you? Now keep these tips in mind when lip reading out into the world. Hopefully they are informative enough for you to lip read in public adequately, and safely! 

APRIL FOOLS’ DAY: Transcribers Don’t Know How To Transcribe Print To Braille: Should They Be Fired?

This morning, I opened up a new Braille textbook, and found that there were many things wrong with it. Sure, the transcribers are only human and make mistakes, but these transcribers should find another profession (or are they human?) The cover of the book said GEOMETRY, but when you open up to the first page, only a blind person can read it to understand that it’s a recipe for chicken alfredo on Page 59 of a cookbook. The second page has information on the invention of the water gun, and the third is an excerpt from one of Abraham Lincoln’s lesser-known speeches. The following pages were Page 63 of a Physics textbook, Page 150 of the play Hamlet, an excerpt from a Harry Potter book, and a sixth-grade Math lesson.

Clearly this book was not transcribed by anyone professional, or at least not any professional dequate enough to have been hired. Sure enough, on the very first page before the Table of Contents, below the Publishing Company and the Copyright date was a Braille transcribing group called the Know-Nothing Braille Idiots, a group of young blind aliens who came to the Earth to abduct and transcribe books into Braille for humans, but Braille was one human-made code aliens were not advanced enough to decipher, so this Braille group took pages out of books and put them together, bound the book, and called it GEOMETRY, copying the name of their stolen textbook. So that explains the tactile spaceship on the front! I guess this Braille book really is from out of this world!!!

Textbooks
Were your new textbooks transcribed by aliens?
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